Manchester’s time is up.

In a much derided move, the ultra-feminist group Manchester Feminist Network, has today called for the city of Manchester to be renamed Chester-On-Irwell, as they say that they object to the use of Man in the name. Through their spokeswoman Jessica Halem, they have released the following statement:

Feminist Logo “As the great feminist Delores Platt said: ‘The only jobs for which no man is qualified are human incubators and wet nurse. Likewise, the only job for which no woman is or can be qualified is sperm donor’. In light of those words, how can it be that so many of those who claim to be wholeheartedly in favour of equality at every level of society, also insist on putting half of the planets population down? Men continue to dominate virtually every aspect of society, enjoying social, financial and political advantages over their equally able female counterparts. The need for a cohesive force to empower women and advance the cause of gender equality is as necessary today as it was in the era of Cromwell, Columbus, and Stalin. “Might it be time for feminism to ask for the renaming of everything that has the word ‘man’ in it? Near the top of this wish list of name changes is the northern British city of Manchester and the removal of the man part of the city’s name. To differentiate it from the nearby city of Chester, we propose to call it Chester-On-Irwell, after the river Irwell which runs through it. “Until we these changes, men will continue to feel the need to treat women as possessions rather than people, when in actuality, these men are just small, ignorant and pathetic. The age of man must come to an end, to be replaced by a more feminist outlook that favours the fifty per-cent of people who give birth to and raise the next generation. “We call on all members of Manchester City Council, members of the U.K. government, the E.U. and the United Nations to enforce this re-naming policy to help bring our campaign for equality one step closer and for it to be completed within the next five years in Britain and Europe and worldwide within the next decade.” A spokesman for Manchester City Council was unavailable for comment but a local M.E.P. has come out against the re-naming policy and called the statement “misguided”, “ill advised” and “anti-man”. “What will they come up with next? Will they want the word ‘woman’ scrapped because it contains ‘man’? It’s just plain nuts”. He has vowed to oppose any E.U. efforts to enforce such policies Europe wide and has also called for the newly appointed police commissioner, Andrew Cohen, to look at possible incitement charges to be brought against the spokeswoman and the Manchester Feminist Network. M.F.N. says that they will not be drawn into a public debate with “a failed M.P.” and have also said that his statement is un-helpful and derogatory to the fight for equal rights for women, which has gone on for centuries.


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